Tuesday, February 26, 2013

This is a test. It's only a test.

Or: You can't test stupid.

The Captain was a pretty darn good test taker all through his 17 years of school.  That's right....17.  He wedged in a year to find himself.  He did indeed find himself.  He was on the couch drinking 20 cent bottled beer and mastering Sonic the Hedgehog, but that's another story.  He was a good test taker for one reason and one reason only, he knew it was the only thing that counted towards his grade.  Showing up, paying attention, following direction, working in teams, listening? Optional character building distractions on the path to the Test.

You see, young Captain was stupid.  He had it all backwards.  He'd trade every A or B he ever got for a C or D and a little more knowledge, a little more character building, a little more....well, discipline.  Bad learner, good test taker.  His first and second bosses out of college found out pretty damn quick that he wasn't the best at listening, working in teams or following directions.  Neither boss ever asked or cared what his GPA was in college.  The Captain remembers distinctly the occasion that they each learned he had graduated from college....both instances more than a year after he had started working for them.

Dr. Hermann Rorschach was a bit of a genius.  His inkblot test doesn't let you cram the night before.  It doesn't let you cheat, because it happens NOW.  It's the equivalent of a pop quiz if you didn't know what a pop quiz was.  That my friend is a pop-pop-quiz.  BOOM!  "What's it look like?"  Well, as you can see, sometimes they all look the same, as one of our T-Shirts from this week's new designs proves.

Ok, ok.  Men are pigs.  But back to this week's lesson.

What is the lesson?  What can you possibly glean from the Captain's test taking, Sonic the Hedgehog, beer drinking past?  There isn't one.  Well, maybe one.  Adults were right, they always are on the big stuff.  Stuff that matters.  Stuff you learn through experience.  Stuff you learn too late.  Does he wish he could do it over again?  Nope.  Because for every stupid thing he did when he was stupid, he became a little less stupid now, which means he's not too stupid.  Just stupid enough to be dangerous.  Stupid like a fox.

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