Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Man Cave...A Special Place for Morons

If you've ever watched T.V. you know at least 2 things.  1)  Only "professional drivers on a closed course" are allowed to drive that really cool Hyundai Sonata like their wife is giving birth in the car and the most convenient hospital is on a mountaintop in can't drive it like that, don't even think about it...just buy it, and 2)  Men are morons.  Especially the married ones.

These morons need to be separated from the rest of the house lest their moronitude rubs off on the "nice furniture."  They need a special place to not only be the drooling idiots they are, but also to commune with other single celled organisms.  Women don't want a part of this, never have.  Only fairly recently have we finally put a name to this den of drool...the Man Cave.  Make no mistake, Man Caves have been in existence for ages.  From actual caves hidden in the hills where Og and Grog would go to stare at the wall and make jokes about the size of their reproductive organs, to the updated variation where Steve and Johnny go to stare at the T.V. on the wall and make jokes about the size of their reproductive organs on furniture.

Captain Leisure Tees wholeheartedly endorses the concept of a Man Cave.  The Captain doesn't have one, but near as he can tell, it's a good arrangement for all involved.  Here's a Sign and a T-Shirt just for our beloved den droolers.  Yes, we sell signs too, check them out here.

Once in a while men will venture out of the cave, rub their eyes and make their way to one of their less satisfying "satellite" Man Caves.  These satellite caves take on many forms like garages, grills, fire pits, or the refrigerator (if they don't have one in their actual cave...lame!).  These satellite caves aren't as satisfying because their more intelligent mates still have some control over these areas.  Garages can be "organized", grills can be covered with something that matches the patio furniture and even refrigerators can have a "beer limit" to leave room for less necessary items like milk and bread.  Nevertheless, some dudeness can be found at these satellite caves and hanging around them is always preferable to the dreaded living room with its coasters and reading material.

The Captain wouldn't want to give short shrift to these satellite caves.  They can get a guy through a fix in a tough spot until he can finally reach the manctuary of his actual cave.  Let's hear it for the satellite caves!  Here's a few more signs and a T-Shirt.

The Captain doesn't want to make all men seem less intelligent than their female counterparts, but he doesn't like lying either.  Face it guys, without women we'd still have sheets for drapes and cinder block shelving units.  We are idiots.  Art imitates life.  Sitcoms are sorta like art.  You know the old saying, "Behind every drooling man is a woman who keeps him from stabbing himself with sharp things."  Well, it's true, and so are those sitcoms.

Some of you may be thinking, "The Captain must not be a real man if he doesn't have a Man Cave".  Well, think away you naysayers.  Have you ever killed rabid squirrel with your bare hands?  Neither has The Captain, but if he had to do it to protect his loved ones he'd man up and go toe to paw with that beast from hell.  They'd probably even make a special note of his courage in the obituary.  "Rabid squirrel bests drooling moron over garbage can dispute."

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